34 Weeks and admitting you just can't do it all...

So we made it to a pretty big milestone yesterday. 34 weeks gestation. That means that if the babies came now, according to lots of statistics they would be ok. However, we are hoping for a minimum of 37-38 weeks. How I am going to manage that given how I have been feeling lately, not so sure.

This week was a real eye opener for me. The loss of my dad was by far the hardest thing I have been dealing with and continue to deal with on a daily basis. However, aside from that major loss I have to admit that my emotional and stress levels have been somewhat constant. Definitely I have had some things pop up that threw me into a brief tailspin, but nothing that made me question my abilities to do this anymore. This week has been a true test. Unforeseen issues at work that led up to 12 hour days of non-stop demands just wiped me out. Normally, my not 34 week pregnant with twins self would have taken it in stride. This week it literally chewed me up and spit me out. I left work every night so uncomfortable I was in tears at the thought of my nightly commute. So exhausted when I got home all I wanted to do was lay down and cry. But even laying down was and is hard. The final straw was Thursday night, when I went to get on the expressway to come home and it was at a dead stop. It was like someone opened the dam, I just started balling. I just couldn't deal with it. That was what they say on TV - an 'ah-ha' moment. I can't keep doing this because the only ones I need to worry about need me to be strong and positive and not utterly exhausted and emotionally spent. They need me to keep it together for 3-4 more weeks and do my job. My REAL job. Its time I admit I can not do it all. And admittedly this was a very hard thing for me to do. Dependence is not my strong suit. But one day at a time is my motto. I have a very worthwhile reward at the end, I just need to let go for a few weeks and accept help. So wish me luck. Thankfully I am blessed with a wonderful support system.

So anyway enough about that. Let's celebrate week 34. In fact today is 34 weeks and 1 day :) My agenda - I took a shower. I am updating my blog. I might take a nap? We'll see. But rest for sure...oh and next ultrasound is Monday AM. So we get to see what they are up to. Looking very forward to that!

I hope this finds you well.

~B