Life...

Defined on Google.com as "the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities." But what is it really? And why is it some get to lead a long life, some short? Some easy, some hard? Some stressful, some peaceful?

A year ago in December, one of my best friends will have been gone for a year. She passed away December 17th, suddenly, from a rare heart disorder. She was 40 years old. Her loss was the first for me. Sure I have lost grandparents and older relatives, but never have I lost a close, young friend. It was a very difficult experience for me. And to be perfectly honest, not a day goes by that I don't think of her at some point. Most of the time it makes me smile, but other times I find my eyes welling up with tears. And of course the question of why? never goes away. Why her? Why then? Why didn't she get to see her girls go to college and graduate? To know her grandkids? To grow old? Why her and not someone else?

This past weekend I found myself asking these questions again. A colleague of mine is about to lose the love in his life. She had an accident over the weekend that put her in the hospital with skull fractures, brain damage and on life support. She's 43. Chances that she'll recover are nil. It sounds as though, once her family gets to say goodbye, the life support will be removed and she will be gone...

She was with girlfriends the night of the accident and they had done everything they should have. They were having a sleepover, so no one was driving after drinking alcohol. They had a great party, everyone had gone to bed, and then this. This horrible fall that has taken a young, beautiful, vibrant, loving person from our world. Why? Did she do something to deserve this? Of course not. So why? Why is it this Thanksgiving her family has to plan her funeral while the rest of us sit around a table with our loved ones?

I had these same questions last Christmas after Cathy's funeral. I was just in complete shock. I sit here now and have the same feeling of awe. I didn't know this woman like I knew Cath, but I know a lot of people that loved her, very well. And I know how much this is going to hurt them. What they'll go through on their road to healing. It's horrible.

In hearing the news and dealing with my thoughts over the weekend, I just went through so many emotions. Of course the first was sadness. But immediately following that was gratitude and thanks for the life that I have. And the life my loved ones have. It's not easy for a lot of people right now given a lot of things. The economy, health issues, emotional issues...but at the end of the day - we're alive. And after that, came the question of what are we doing with those lives? Are we living every day like we want to? Or do we just go through motions waiting for the next day? Thinking that tomorrow will bring what we are waiting for? And what is it that we're waiting for? And why? What is that we NEED in order to LIVE our lives?

I don't have the answers to these questions, but I needed to put them out there. If anything to give me something to revert back to when I find myself lost with my thoughts again. B/c if history tells me anything, I will definitely be thinking about this subject again. Maybe then I'll know more. Maybe then, I'll have the answers I was looking for...

In the mean time, here are a few quotes on life that caught my attention...

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." - Anne Dillard

"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more." - Brother David Steindl-Rast

Lastly...

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver

~Blondie

Best Birthday EVER!

Well the few of you that periodically check this for updates know that I was having a difficult time with the idea of turning 30. I know I said I had come to terms with it and even embraced it, but honestly, I was really dreading it...However, let me just say, to those of you that participated in any way - thank you for making this the best birthday ever!!! Here are a few highlights...

The week BEFORE my birthday I received a gorgeous surprise bouquet of tulips and lillies at my office from Laura! They were so pretty and put a big smile on my face...

The week of my birthday as all of you know, Luke and I took our first official vacation. We had our cruise to Grand Cayman and Cozumel. What a fantastic time! Despite the food on the Carnival ship, everything else was great! We had good weather, lots of R&R, luck on the craps table :) and we even met a few really nice people along the way. On my actual birthday, we spent the day in Mexico. Luke took me swimming with the dolphins in the ocean, it was AWESOME!!! After we did that we hit the restaurant for a fabulous Mexican lunch and then to the beach to enjoy the white sand and cervesas :) It was an awesome day!!!

And then came Saturday November 1st...Luke managed to pull off a surprise party for me! Not only did we dine at probably the best restaurant I have ever been to, Coach Insignia in Detroit on top of the Renaissance Center but after dinner we stopped at 59 West to 'meet friends for a cocktail' and I was surprised by my family and friends! It was unbelievable! We walked in and there were balloons and flowers and LOTS of people! I cried instantly. I couldn't believe it. I was so touched. Two nights earlier I was crying on Luke's shoulder about no one remembering and that it was a hard b-day despite it being such a good time on vacation, blah, blah. Basically I was having a moment of reflection and the 'I should bes'...it wasn't anything to do with anyone other then myself. The poor guy had to listen to me vent and cry like a baby. Already having planned this fabulous party. I felt like such a schmuck! But what a great time! People I thought were out of town were there! You know who you are! Old neighbors, long time friends and of course my family. It was just wonderful. And to top it off, he got a limo to take us around in...Icing on the cake. We all had a ton of fun and made it home safely. It was absolutely one of the best days! What a perfect end to a wonderful week off!!!

So that was the start to this decade...not bad huh? Something tells me it's just going to get better...